Overdue Update - Finally

I wish I had more motivation to blog, but I've just been so tired lately, it's the last thing I want to do. I'm still going strong, but have definitely had my share of cheat days as of late. I'm hovering at about 23 pounds lately, so as long as the scale is still going down, I'm happy. But I'll be honest, I have had zero desire to cook lately, and have just been slacking off due to that.

If anything, I've found that I'm not eating enough, so I think that's why I've only been losing about a pound per week, instead of 2-3.

On a very positive note, I've started skating again! Harrogate has started a Roller Derby team and I'm thrilled! I've gone 2 Sunday's in a row. I'm actually bummed that we don't have practice this coming Sunday (Easter). I always used to think that I'd be so much better/faster if I weighed less and I can definitely tell that my stamina and being lighter on the skates has really made a difference. I'm feeling faster than ever. I'll be excited to see what my 25 lap time is when I get to that point.

Other than that, not much new is going on. I'm still in between sizes so have had a hard time each morning putting on clothes. I still don't want to go shopping but I might have to soon and just try to find some good sales.

So yeah - getting a bit bored with the Dukan diet, but still staying pretty close to the concept, lots of protein and not many carbs. I've added in things like nuts here & there which has kept me a bit more sane. I really need to get in the gym more though! The Zumba instructor I loved is no longer teaching so that's one thing I haven't been doing.

Thanks again for reading!

In a Rut

How soon the mighty can.... get stuck. I've had my first real "scale not moving" week and its not shocking why. I've had a few meals out, a few glasses of wine and just haven't been focused in the last week. I was excited to hit my 20 pound milestone but have since had a rough week personally and haven't had any energy or will to get in the kitchen and prepare food. I'm still eating a lot better than I was of course, but I have obviously experienced venturing out of the comfort zone.

One thing I've noticed is I'm really sensitive to the salt when I am eating out. Since Dukan is a low-sodium diet as well, it's really noticeable when I have a lot - and I feel it immediately. Salt is bad!

In other news, we are booked onto a Mediterranean cruise mid-June so I have a definite goal to work towards! Want to get into a bikini! (Mind you once I'm on the boat, all bets are off! Mama is eating!)

Wish me luck. I need some words of encouragement this week.

20 Pounds Down

Well, I finally hit 20 pounds today! A little over 2 months and a few hiccups along the way but wow – It’s the best feeling! I honestly can say that it’s not been as hard as I thought it would be. I’ve had my moments of weakness but sticking with the plan has really paid off. I haven’t had to work out like crazy either, which confirms my suspicions of it being food and food alone that was responsible for gaining and keeping weight on. I was working out like crazy when I was doing Roller Derby and not losing a pound. High protein low carbs – it’s the way forward! We’ve all heard this for years but it’s really true. Eventually I’ll be able to eat a reasonable amount of carbs on a normal basis but not until I hit my goal weight. It’s been a very forgiving diet as well. Being able to indulge a little and getting back on track and still losing makes it so much easier to deal with. Now that I've recovered from surgery, I'm going to get back into working out though and try to do more than just walking and Zumba. Our gym offers free personal training sessions (I just found this out), so I'm planning to take advantage and get things started trying to tone up and maybe do some weights. I'm one of those girls who is afraid of the weight room, it's intimidating and I don't feel like I know what I'm doing.

I had an interesting thing happen last night. While on the way home after a concert and very late night, my husband and I needed food desperately. We didn’t have dinner and I had a few glasses of wine so I had to have something. The only option at 1:00am was McDonalds, so we just went for it. Now I don’t eat fast food on a normal basis over here as it is, but I would have it once in a while. I had a Big Mac (removed one of the buns) and fries and let me tell you- I was almost instantly physically ill. I got home and my stomach was rumbling, heartburn raging, and I eventually got sick. I guess it was my bodies’ way of telling me “NO, I will not accept this crap you have fed me.” The salt alone was so intense, I swear I could feel it going through my veins. Bad stuff! (But it tasted good of course!)





Ok - about to head to bed. Can't hang like a rockstar on a schoolnight!

Feeling Great, Staying Motivated

I'm bouncing with energy at midnight. I really should be in bed but for some reason I feel full of life today. I think its the first day since my surgery where I'm not ready to put my head on my desk at 2:00pm. I even did a little Wii Zumba with Skylar this evening (and Mia tried to play along).

I'm really getting near my 20 pound weight loss mark and I'm very excited. However, I'm starting to have wardrobe dilemma each morning before I go to work. My big clothes are well, big. I already have a pile of "trousers" that hang off of me and look ridiculous, but my "skinny" clothes are still too tight and slightly inappropriate for the office setting. It's a strange phase to be in because I don't want to do any shopping really because I don't plan to stay in this zone for long. Basically I'm going to look like a ragamuffin for a while, and try to pull off leggings and dresses as much as possible. Not that I'm complaining!

On the subject of vanity - I'm having hair remorse. I'm officially over being a brunette. Now my hairdresser said that this would be a work in progress and eventually I'll have my caramel/light blond mix but right now it's a very boring mousy brown, some parts that have faded show my old color a bit and it's just boring. I am supposed to go back in 2 weeks for my next appt. but Chaz will be out of town so I'm going to have to figure out something. Basically, I want to have it more natural, less brassy/bleached blonde, but I don't think I fancy being this dark and I've had a few of my more blunt/honest friends tell me that they prefer me blonde. In the grand scheme of life, this shouldn't even matter but I think with this overall theme of self improvement, I'd like to feel confident all around.

I was looking at a photo that my dear friend sent me from last summer and remembered it was one of the reasons I started this journey. My husband even said he was a bit shocked that he didn't think I was 'that big,' and that it was just and unflattering photo, but I was happy to compare it to a recent photo to see the progress and to keep me motivated. I posted this before/after on the facebook/Dukan page for fellow dieters to see but as facebook settings are crap, a lot of my friends ended up seeing it. I felt cheeky, and like I was fishing for compliments... really all I wanted was to motivate others and prove that this diet really works! So - I will post it here, not fishing for compliments of course (haha).

See what I mean about the hair? (Left is too blonde - bleaching and help from the sun) Right is well, not me.

Heading to bed now. Goodnight everyone!

Back in the Swing of things...

After having a few weeks of going off course, I'm happy to report that I haven't gained any weight. With the Paris & London trips, I walked a lot so I think it offset the extra calories and sweets/carbs/alcohol I consumed. I am also recovering from surgery and can't taste much so haven't been eating as much as usual. Though I did have a nice mexican meal last night and I went to town on some chips & dips! Lots of cheese!

I started back on the Dukan plan today, a pure protein day and I've been good. I've actually had to push myself to eat as I'm just not that hungry. I'm also really tired to the core. I can't believe how much this surgery has taken out of me. I came into work to do some catch-up and only lasted about 5 hours or so before I was ready to call it a day. I came home and napped for about 3 hours.

I'm not supposed to work out for 2 weeks, so I'm just taking it easy and I'll try to do some walking each day. I'm hoping to hit my 20 pound loss soon so wish me luck.

I've been drained and haven't felt like much of anything lately, let alone blogging but I keep remembering some of the things I wanted to blog about while on my Paris trip. I couldn't help to notice that NO ONE IS FAT in Paris. Honestly, we spent most of our time in a non-touristy area amongst the locals and I was amazed at how fit and thin the french seemed to be. Are they genetically superior? Are they really so active that it offsets the large amounts of bread, cheese and wine they seem to consume at every meal? It's fascinating really. The Dukan diet originated in Paris, so I was half expecting to see menus with Dukan-prepared food but I did not. I think the key is that they seem to have really fresh ingredients, no preservatives. Every meal was like the best and freshest meal I've ever had. How could they make eggs THAT good? It was food heaven. I didn't go crazy on the trip, but there were a lot of "croque monsieur" sandwiches that weekend and quite possibly the best Creme Brulee I've ever head (with Nutella!). Looking back, I'd say it was all worth it.

I'm finding it hard to get motivated to cook though. When I first started this diet, I was in the kitchen every evening. I'm not as excited about it now, and I can't put my finger on why. I'm not sure if its my general tiredness or just boredom with the plan. It's fairly simple so maybe I'm just used to eating kind of boring and bland and will get a 2nd wind soon. I really need to get in there to prepare food. Today I had (literally) taco meat for lunch, which was left over from Saturday nights' dinner and Chaz made me a wonderful filet for dinner. Add some cottage cheese, yogurt, 4 egg whites and a cheese stick to complete my day. It's not enough food. Tomorrow I'll have veggies so maybe that will spice things up. :)

Okay - heading off to bed. Thanks for reading!

Overdue Update

I've been negligent with updating my blog. I know this. It's been a really tough few weeks but luckily I will be resting for the next few days. My trip to Paris was amazing and London was also great. I've definitely veered off course of my diet for the last week and a half but I'm still teetering between 16-18 pounds lost. I think all of the walking I've done has made up for my indulging a bit in food and drink. I had one of the best meals in my life in London at the Palm. I'm still thinking about this "Wedge" salad I had which was so good it should be a crime!

I'm not going to beat myself up for it as they were 2 trips that I have really been looking forward to and I didn't want to be miserable and counting calories the whole time. I'm having surgery tomorrow so the next few days will probably be filled with tea and toast (hospital food). Once I'm back on my feet, I plan to get fully back on the plan. I've been SO busy that cooking is the last thing I've wanted to do. At least I know that the diet does work and it will be motivating to start back up again knowing I'll probably dump off a few pounds just in the first week.

Wish me luck!!

Bonjour

So I realize I haven't been updating as much. Perhaps because the novelty has worn off, but mainly because I've had an incredibly busy week. The kind where I can barely string a sentence together by the time I get home. My brain is mush right now. I've had some challenges this week in the "Valentines Day Candy" department. I've definitely indulged. Ever since we had our night out last Saturday, I think my body started back to square one with craving sugar. I haven't gone nuts or anything but I'm definitely realizing my areas of weakness. Stress is one and this week has been a mess. I haven't been able to get my full workouts in and I'm just feeling a bit defeated.

On the positive side, I'm still losing, just not as fast as the first couple of weeks, which makes perfect sense considering I've been slacking off. I keep telling myself that regardless I'm still eating 10x better than I was and that has always been a big focus.

As I am about to go to Paris for a couple of days, I'm a bit worried even though I know that this has been in the works for a long time. The honest truth is that I don't want to obsess over everything that I eat and drink this weekend but I'm already starting to get worried. I keep telling myself "what could I possibly do (or undo) in 48 hours?" I've already had a head start this evening with a couple of glasses of wine and some unauthorized "nibbles" at dinner. I know there will be a lot of walking so that should help.

Next weekend, the hubby and I are going to London for our 5 year anniversary. Once again, I'm excited to go but nervous because of some meals we already have planned. I wish I had the ability to not care about food. I know plenty of people who literally think of it as fuel, but I find pleasure in food, or should say that it's a big part of the experience of travelling for me. All of this leads up to my surgery on the 28th, so I will be down for a few days after that. I guess I need to accept that I've lost a fair bit, and I'm on this journey but I will be taking a slight detour for a couple of weeks. What happens is going to be inevitable.

Wish me luck!

Naughty Naughty

It's been a bit of a rocky week but I was happy to see that I did lose another pound. There were some temptations that I succumbed to - and there were a few meals out. As I've mentioned before, you can try hard to be good but you really don't what is in your food unless you prepare it yourself. I also didn't do Zumba due to a Doctors appt. that I had and it being cancelled on Friday. I was on the treadmill every day but still didn't feel like I put as much effort in as I had the week before (which was a good week!).

On Saturday, we had a meal out with some friends and although I didn't go completely crazy, I had some drinks and some dessert. :) My body was very quick to rebel as I had terrible heartburn when we got home and a rumbling tummy the entire next day. I also think my body got a taste of sugar again and I'm detoxing again... I just got into the Russell Stovers Valentines candy my parents sent. Grrr. Didn't eat the whole thing but had a couple of pieces and now I'm feeling like I'm back at square one. 15 pounds is fabulous so I will try to move on and get focused again and keep moving forward and hope not to fall backwards (my biggest fear). I know its not realistic to not allow myself some indulgences here & there, so I'm going to try to keep that in mind and not beat myself up (which I am doing).

I'll be soaking up Paris this weekend so I'm going to try to be on best behavior until then. I'm also going to up the exercise plan.

I got onto my Wii fit for the first time in 2 1/2 years and was a bit shocked to see my weight from the summer of 2009. I had just given birth and still weighed 8-10 pounds less than I am now! That means at one point, I had put on 25 pounds after childbirth. I must be a freak of nature. Don't worry, I won't be getting pregnant in order to lose weight. Not happening. ;)

Thanks for your support... I need it this week big time.

4 Weeks & 1 Stone Later....

Here I am, still going strong and staying positive. For those of you in the US, 1 stone is 14 pounds. I find it funny that we are forced to do math to figure out our weight here in the UK, but it sounds pretty funny because I visualize a big boulder when I think of a "stone."

I've had my ups & downs in the last week or so, but have stayed on track and tried not to get too bored with my meals. I've had a few instances of putting a few morsels of off limits food in my mouth but have paid my dues on the treadmill. Tonight I was breaking a Reeses Chocolate heart for Mia. I had about 1/3rd of it left in my hand and without even thinking twice, I ate it. It was SO good. If anything, I now appreciate the taste of things and made a deal with myself. If its a very small piece of something and as long as I am still losing weight, I will allow myself an occasional bite of something I really want in order to keep my sanity. I still haven't had a single drink - glass of wine, shot of alcohol, etc. Tonight I clearly caved on the candy, but got it out of my system.

I'm still struggling to eat my veggies, even on the days I am allowed to have them (I alternate Pure Protein & Protein/Veg days). Last night I got creative and made a yummy dip with fresh salsa, low-fat cream cheese & lowfat cheese. I dipped some carrots & celery in it and it almost felt as if I had some kind of yummy taco dip, minus the tortilla chips. It was filling and I felt satisfied afterward...I'm sure it doesn't look as good as it tastes.

Tomorrow will be a huge "social eating" challenge once again, as I'm going to an Italian restaurant in town with some friends. When you diet, it's almost as if you have a food allergy or are a vegetarian...you tend to study menu's online before you go, and try to rationalize what you can have. It's going to be a tough evening - not choosing the usual chicken pasta that I love on the menu (or washing it down with a bottle of white wine!). I'm the ultimate designated driver now.

One question I would like to ask for anyone reading this. I'm randomly having incredible pain in my toes when I am working out. What could this signify? New shoes needed (mine are not that old, and have plenty of room in the toe area)? Its baffling. I've often joked that my botched "non-epidural" has caused nerve damage as I've had weird sensations in my feet ever since I had my youngest. I'm wondering if I need to see a specialist.

Ok - packing it up for the night. Thanks again for reading!

TGIF!

It's been a long week for some reason - just busy at work and generally feeling run down. I've managed to get to bed at a decent hour for the most part so it must be the dieting that is taking it out of me. Monday will mark 4 weeks on the diet. I'm curious to the weight loss but will hold on and hope to be surprised. I hit the 12 pound mark on Tuesday or Wednesday which made me feel better since I shoveled a bunch of nuts into my mouth earlier in the week. I also popped 3 grapes into my mouth that Mia had on the kitchen table. Just didn't even realize I was eating them until they were down. It's funny that I feel guilt over a small piece of fruit!

I found out that I shouldn't be eating wheat germ but wheat bran instead. I don't even know where to find this. I thought I had the right thing. Hopefully it hasn't thrown a wrench into things. I also ate out for lunch and had coronation chicken salad. It's always hard when you eat out because you may have thought you made a wise decision on the menu, but unless you prepare it yourself, you don't know what kinds of oils or other naughty things have been used. I crossed my fingers and tried to tell myself that I made a good decision, especially when I could smell the amazing fries sitting on the plate next to and across from me. They looked and smelled amazing but you know what - I didn't have to have them. I was also faced with a birthday celebration for a coworker and turned down the ice-cream cake and snacked on...yogurt and jello. How exciting!

I'm getting creative in some ways, with dishes and trying to just keep it exciting but the yogurts, Sugar Free Jello and "dukan cupcakes" are getting old! I made a mock pancake the other night with sugar free syrup and was in heaven! I guess if anything, dieting has taught me not to take food for granted. When I get to the point where I can start adding carbs in, I'm going to be really excited about the little things - like strawberries!

I'm still focused though - and pleased that I've managed to do some form of exercise each day like I'm supposed to. Whether its Zumba or the treadmill, I've kept my tail moving. I know this will all be worth it in a few months when I will be able to put on a bathing suit with confidence when we go on holiday (wherever that may be - we're still deciding). I graduated to the "bathing suit with a skirt" this past summer - a very sobering moment! Not that I need to wear a G-String but purchasing that bathing suit was a scary step. I knew that I needed it, and I wasn't going to be that Mom wearing the inappropriate bathing suit for my size. There really isn't anything more awakening than bathing suit shopping. I don't know any woman, large or small who enjoys it!

Thanks for listening and keeping me focused and motivated!

Cheater Cheater Peanut Eater

3 weeks and 11 pounds down today! What better way to celebrate than go off the rails and have something forbidden! Sigh. I had a slight run in with some mixed nuts. They are definitely not allowed. I was cleaning up after a work function we were hosting and there was this huge cup of mixed nuts staring back at me. I was tired, stressed, and could *smell* them, so I went for it. I didn't just have a few. I had a big handful of them. I'm telling myself that it could have been much worse. I had other things like candy and chips around but chose something that has nutritional value. It wasn't a tray of brownies so I'll let it slide and do an extra bit on the treadmill this evening.

We had a busy weekend. On Saturday, we went to an indoor water park. I found myself running up steps trying to keep up with Skylar lugging huge double-inner tubes. I got to thinking that it would be a really good and funny challenge on the Biggest Loser. Maybe I'll email Jillian Michaels and propose this idea. One of those team challenges. It's definitely a twisted and fun way of forced exercise. I think I'm still recovering though, and we didn't even go down any of the super-fast slides where you "lose" your bathing suit at the end.

Overall, its been a pretty good week. My clothes are fitting much better, some even loose. If I stay on this pattern of losing 2 pounds per week, I'll be happy. I'd like to see a bit more come off but its not realistic. I hear that once you get to 3 weeks it starts falling off... so I'm crossing fingers. I could also cut back on the 2% cheese. I haven't had a lot but here & there might be throwing a wrench in things. I miss my real cheese! :(

I'm getting creative in the kitchen. I'm so tired of eating boring plain meat so today I decided to just throw something together.  I wanted something Italian so I cut up some tomatoes, stewed them with some fresh basil, garlic & onion then sauteed some chicken and combined them. It was delicious! I would've liked to have had some pasta to put the concoction on but it was actually good on its own - like an Italian chicken stew.

I'm looking forward to zumba tomorrow but I may try a lunchtime class instead that involves circuits and weights. I think I need to mix things up so my body doesn't get used to it.

Thanks again for anyone reading this. It feels strange just typing into cyberspace but maybe having an audience, whether large or small will make me feel accountable. I also hope to motivate anyone who also wants to get started. It took a long time to get serious and motivated. I still have a long journey to go so I need all the support I can get.

Day in my Jammies

So today I haven't been out of my jammies - I just changed into new ones. I left work early yesterday with some stomach distress... no need to elaborate more. Today I have slowly come around a bit but was still feeling yucky. Skylar was also home with a fever, sore everything and just generally feeling like crap.

I couldn't even will myself onto the treadmill for a walk so even though I shouldn't feel guilty, I do. Diet has stayed on track at least. One day of missed exercise in 18 isn't the end of the world I guess.

I did get creative in the kitchen though! When you are on a "diet," you become obsessed with food, more so than when you are not. You basically try to create things that don't taste "too bad" in order to feel some kind of satisfaction. Trust me, the bar is lowered. Aside from well seasoned meat, which is a shoe-in, you constantly try to seek out accompaniments that are legal or at least in the ballpark and that are edible. I've had a few disasters (oat bran cookies that might have been the worst things I've ever eaten- and I've tried haggis) so it was time for things to go my way.

I had some turkey chunks and wasn't sure how to cook them, so I did some googling and found a recipe for Dukan turkey & stuffing muffins. There was an option to just cook it as a casserole so I did just that. I present to you - our lunch. Chaz even ate this and liked it!

The start - where you cook your turkey, celery & onion...

Add in all of the other stuff (oat bran, wheat germ, cornstarch, etc...), bake and you have this lovely casserole...

Let me know if you want the recipe!

Then for dinner, I was really craving tacos. I'm actually surprised that I haven't thought up this concoction prior to today... I took the standard Dukan galette (pancake) and put some Fiesta Lime Mrs. Dash in it, made them thin and small and actually had something that resembled a tortilla or pita shell!

Say hello to my little friend!

The Finished product (with 93% lean beef)!

I added a bunch of salad and some more taco fixings around this and felt fully satisfied. I foresee many of these in my future. I've not been able to find fat free cheese here so have added the Weight Watchers 2% in here and there which I've read is ok as long as you are not plateauing. It seems to be ok and I haven't flown off course. This keeps me mentally happy as well as I'm realizing you can take sweets away, but not cheese completely. If I don't have a small amount, you might find me crashing and burning and eating a block of Cracker Barrel.

On a random note, unrelated to dieting... I heard a loud "explosion" today - it shook the house and the sheep went running for their lives. I ran downstairs and threw on my wellies, ran out into the snow (visibility was bad!) and truly expected to see twisted plane wreckage in the fields near us. It scared the living crap out of me. I called the police and reported it and eventually got a call back saying it was a sonic boom. Wow. OK. Lots of news stories about it now, but I really was worried for a bit. Chaz says that he sees fighter jets fly over and I've always dismissed it with a laugh. Guess he was right!

On that note, I am ready to hit the sack. Goodnight!

2 Weeks/9 Pounds

I had my official weigh in today and was happy to find that I'm down 9 pounds in 2 weeks! This past weekend was especially challenging because I ate out - twice! This has been a situation that I've been fearing but I did ok both times. We had amazing Nando's Chicken yesterday in York. I think its a bit stressful because while you think you know what's going into your food, you never really know unless you ask and I'm sort of gun-shy on being the annoying American here demanding customer service and a full rundown/calorie count on the menu. I was upset to find out they were out of the Mediterranean salad so I went with a butterflied chicken breast (took the skin off, didn't use sauce, and its steamed) and some coleslaw. Now I'm positive coleslaw isn't on the allowed list due to the presence of mayo and what tasted like a bit of sugar to make it sweet but it was the only veggie (cabbage/carrots) that I could rationalize.  Overall it was a really nice weekend and any accidental extra calories consumed in my 2 meals out were burned.

I'm feeling very positive but still a little bored with the menu. By the time I've worked all day, exercised, come home, attempted to entertain my children before they go to bed, I'm wiped out. I need to get into the kitchen more and cook. Our dishwashers are both broken right now (yes, we have 2 - don't ask) so there are piles of dishes at all times and I feel bad making more. I hope the guy comes this week to fix them as we found out they were basically draining into the house under the floor! I knew I smelled mildew/mold when I opened the lower cabinets. I have a ninja nose. I could have been a nose-spy. Maybe I missed my calling at a perfumerie in the south of France. (Ironically - I am having nose surgery very soon so I can breath better- maybe I really can become a nose spy or invent perfumes!).

I think I'm going to try to cook up a storm on Sunday and freeze some things and just prepare for the week. I did that the first week and I seemed to do much better in terms of having food readily available at all times.

We are taking the girls to an indoor water park on Saturday. This is always a test of stamina - going up the steps to the waterslides. I remember running up them as a kid and my Dad (who has always been active and in good shape) panting looking like he was going to fall over at an minute saying "wait up!" Well that is me now but worse. The last time I took Skylar to one at Disney this past summer, I had some serious flashbacks. I'm going to look at it as forced exercise.

Goodnight everyone! I am beat from a very short nights' sleep last night. I won't even address the reason why - but it has to do with a certain team's very upsetting football game loss. :(

Because of this, I am blaming it for my near-slip with a tootsie roll today, to drown my sorrows. I had it in my mouth, chewed it for a few seconds and spit it out into the trash. Classy eh? Oh the shame! At some point I will allow myself some kind of a treat... but not yet! All or nothing.

Weekend Check-In

The past few days have gone well and I'm quite pleased with myself. I had my first Social Situation test last night and thanks to my friend Joanna, passed with flying colors. She invited me along to a birthday party so I was a bit worried. I studied the menu at the pub and found Chicken Slouvaki which was one of the only things I could really have. There were 2 nice skewers of chicken, onion & peppers (I could have had 5!) with some yogurt sauce, a whole wheat tortilla & hummus. I only had a couple of bites of the tortilla & hummus, which was pretty blah so I wasn't tempted to go nuts. Joanna had the same thing and even drank sparkling water unlike the rest of the group downing 2-for-1 cocktails. We had coffee instead of dessert and I sat watching everyone down brownie and cookie-dough sundaes with restraint. I *really* wanted the little butter cookie that came with my coffee and even sniffed it a bit. haha.

I'm sort of and all-or-nothing kind of person. It's been almost 2 weeks without having one taste of junkfood, sugary snacks, candy or booze. I don't even want to tempt myself yet.  Next month, I am going on a girls trip to Paris, which is something I've looked forward to my entire life..or at least French class in High School. I've never been to Paris proper, only Disneyland and we drove through on the way home, jumped out in front of the Eiffel Tower and took a photo while Skylar was sleeping in the back seat. So - thinking it over I know that there WILL be wine, cheese and bread that weekend.  I'm sure I'll show some restraint so I don't mess up what I have accomplished at that point. The following weekend, Chaz and I are going away for the first time without the girls in 4 years! It's our 5 year Anniversary so we're heading to London. So... there WILL be Mexican food! haha. Hopefully I won't fall off the diet wagon completely.

I've stayed true to the exercise plan, and some. I've been doing 2 Zumba classes  each week, walking 30 minutes each day and today I went on a very muddy, cold, 4 mile hike with Skylar's school club. So far so good, almost 2 weeks down. I'm excited for my weigh in on Monday! (Something I never look forward to).

Food is a Drug

I had a complete AA/NA moment today where I went into a panic, and would have eaten a dozen cookies if they were in front of me and needed a sponsor to call. Lesson learned? Never be without something to snack on. The key to this diet is having (the correct) food available at all times.

I went into town for a Doctor's appointment and hadn't eaten since around 1130-1200. On my way back to work, I realized it was almost 4 and I was ravenous! I headed to the supermarket on base and ran to the yogurt aisle - nothing I can have! They were nearly cleaned out. So I ended up getting a few things that I could have, to include deli meat and a bag of those little individually wrapped cheese squares. I had one in the car and even though it was only 90 calories and no carbs I feel guilty because of a measly 7 grams of fat! So I think it was realizing "I know I'm not really supposed to eat this, but it's gonna happen..." which really upset me. I'm over it though. It could have been much worse (like the free slices of chocolate cake they had at the deli counter!). Skylar and Mia love those cheese squares so it wasn't an irrational purchase completely. I've been reading the Dukan boards and quite a few have been successful with occasionally having low-fat cheese. Fat free cheese is not available here and is pretty gross from what I remember.

Today made me think of a conversation I had the other day about food and how it really is a drug and can kill you. However, unlike alcohol and the hard stuff, you have to actually eat food. They physical dependency I've had on sweets and "junk food," went away within the first few days but mentally I still think about eating some Doritos or a cupcake or having buttery popcorn and a candy-bar. My mind is still telling me that it will taste good and will make me feel fulfilled. I've always justified this because I didn't binge eat or anything along those lines, but when you eat a bunch of crap and not enough things that are good for you, eventually it will catch up with you as it did in my case. My Mom has type-2 diabetes and I don't want to go down that road.

Today is a veggie day and I made a wonderful Beef Stew last night and enjoyed it for lunch. For dinner, I had a chicken breast, green beans & mashed carrot/swede which was really nice. I felt like I was having mashed potatoes. I took a photo because it honestly looks like the only real meal I've had since I started this journey.

I'm trying to muster up the energy to get on the treadmill for 30 minutes. I know I will feel great afterward, but sometimes that is a bad thing as I'll be up for hours.

Signing off for now!

1 Week Down!

My 1 week report is 7-8 pounds lost! I have 2 different scales and one is in Stones/KG's so it's a bit confusing. I opted for a digital scale which gives me the news in pounds, even ounces. I'm feeling super motivated right now, and excited that I can alternate my days with veggies. However, I had a shocking revelation today and realized that well, I don't actually like vegetables as much as I should. Part of the reason that I'm on this diet. I need to learn to eat the things that are good for me and my body/health. So on my Protein/Veggie day 1 I had 2 salads (1 chicken, 1 steak), and made some great mock salad dressing with quark (FF sour cream), fresh salsa and some taco seasoning.

I made an attempt at cauliflower mock mashed potatoes and they pretty much tasted like cauliflower... which I've never liked. It stunk up the kitchen, and tasted even worse. So I learned that lesson... and I won't try it again. I'm trying to step out of my comfort zone and try new things so in the next few days I'm going to attempt to make some swede and a few other things that I'm not sure I like yet. Just to keep things exciting and not so boring.

Last night, I had 2 "Dukan" Cream Cheese cupcakes that my friend made. They were so good, and they were purple so naturally I had to have 2, so the Ravens would win. Boy did I feel like crap! Nauseated. Egg, FF Cream cheese & Splenda overload! It was a nice and "legal" treat and I did have the other one today without incident.

I'm back to work tomorrow so I should be in bed now... Goodnight!

6 Days Down!

It's late on Saturday night. I'm still hanging in there. I just had a fabulous hot chocolate because I read on one of the forums that you can have it with natural cocoa, skim milk & splenda. Wouldn't you know that I saw one of the Dukan monitors on the FB Dukan page answer that that it's not allowed yet until I'm in the next phase. That's the 3rd time I've had that happen - thought I was allowed to eat something and was wrong (Lite Mueller Yogurts even without fruit contain sugar, No FF/SF pudding and now this). Oh well. I'm still on track and haven't cheated (knowingly) at all, especially with the temptation all around me. I've been doing the walking, Zumba and just basically trying to be more active. I feel good. I'm definitely over the cravings, but I'm afraid that I'm not actually eating enough because I'm not "excited" about anything on the menu.

Tomorrow we are having some friends over who are also doing the Dukan so it should be interesting - we're all going to be watching the Ravens, chomping on some meat and yogurt watching Chaz drink beer. I'm trying to make a Buffalo Chicken dip which we will just basically eat on its own. Exciting huh?  I'm also looking up meatloaf recipes. I'm not exactly excited about meatloaf when I'm not dieting, let alone now. I'll be happy on Monday when I can bring on the veggies!

I was having a conversation today about my 20's and how I remember thinking at the time that I was fat, or had certain fat parts (like my butt/hips). I was one of those skinny girls (not a waif, but thin) who ate whatever I wanted because I worked out a lot. Sometimes I'd like to get into a time machine and smack my old self for even thinking I had a weight problem. I've never been a great eater though. I wouldn't go to Wendy's to order a salad, of course I would have a burger and fries. I've never eaten massive portions, but just have made bad food choices. I know now that when I lose this weight I will appreciate it. I did after I lost it when my oldest was 2. I remember feeling great for about a year until I started all these blood pressure medications and packed on some "new relationship" pounds. It's been downhill from there. Although I was a freak of nature and somehow lost weight while pregnant with my 2nd and then gained it after. Who does that?? Me.

I'm enjoying being at home this weekend but must venture out for "supplies" tomorrow (yogurt). Today I had a wonderful nap and vegged a lot. One thing I have noticed is that I have not had any form of heartburn/acid-reflux since I started. That has to be one major positive change. Once again, I'm starting to understand the downside to sugar.

Well, thanks again for anyone reading this and I really do appreciate the support!

4 Days Down - Still Hanging in There

I've never been able to stick to a true diet for more than 5 minutes, honestly. So 4 days down and I'm feeling pretty proud of myself. I've already lost a ridiculous amount of weight so that has kept me motivated. Mind you I know that it was mostly water weight, it still feels great to see the scale going down. I haven't had even a morsel of something that isn't allowed (**Edit - I just found out that Fat Free Redi Whip is not on the allowed list - good thing I've only had a few squirts - and by accident so it doesn't count as cheating right??). Tonight I put a peanut in my mouth to taste the seasoning... then spit it out. How sad is that? Basically in a nutshell - I don't feel hungry anymore, but I just don't feel satisfied. Maybe that is the mental piece that will come along with time. I'm not craving anything absurd either - like a huge Chipotle Burrito. I just want some little cheese cubes and grapes. I think my body would go into shock if I had Doritos or something along those lines. I'm too excited about this right now to screw it up though.

Yesterday was a tough day. I felt really sluggish most of the day was was simply not interested in anything I was eating. I think that I actually didn't eat enough. I was in a pissy mood most of the day. After I did some "Just Dance" with Skylar, I felt great...full of energy. Then I finally got to sleep at 11:30, and crashed hard. I had some whacky dreams like my hair falling out and my husband secretly running an escort service while I'm at work (lol)! I woke up this morning feeling like a corpse but once I got moving, I felt much better.

I had a friend ask me to go out Friday night and as much as I want to go, I don't think this week is a week to be social at all. I'm not sure that I can get all dressed up, go to the pub and have a diet coke. Then again, it wouldn't be much different than being pregnant. Once I move onto the adding veggies and real food phase, I think I'll be up for it but right now. I just want to sit on my couch and eat my yogurt & jello.

I also went shopping today for veggies. I get to have them on Monday. I bought things that I don't even know what to do with yet - like Rutabaga. I think it's a turnip or swede. I usually blow past the veggie aisle only grabbing a few things and keep going. Today I spent a lot of time there - also a lot of time in the aisles staring at labels and in the meat section trying to find good steak (not much luck today). I'm really excited to make my salsa. I might miss the chips that I would dip in it but I'll eat it with chicken. Yay.

Overall, this has been a learning experience so far. I'm shocked at how much sugar/bad carbs effect my weight. Just seeing the science of it all in action is kind of fascinating.

As I type this, my husband is standing in the room next staring through the doorway snacking so he doesn't bother me. haha!

Ok that's enough for today.... thanks for reading. :)

Day Two - Still pushing along...

I decided that if I post on this every day, or at least try to it may keep me from doing other things - like raiding the cabinets/fridge. I'm still on the diet wagon though. I had a near lapse with a marshmallow today..but was a good girl and soldiered on...just happy with sticking my nose in the bag and getting a good whiff.

I did a Zumba class today which was great! What a blast. I forgot my shoes though so had to do it in my socks. The "old" me would have certainly used that as an excuse to skip the class but I soldiered on... and now the balls of my feet are throbbing. I definitely could see myself going back, as it was a great workout. I felt like I was dancing at the club for a few songs.

Came home to my hubby grilling me another slab of meat (turkey breast this time). Nothing says I love you like a hunk of animal flesh, nicely marinated and prepared to perfection. I have a lot left over and redesigned our fridge so that the rest of my family will know to keep their paws off my food. Skylar tried to steal a sugar-free jello yesterday and Mia was trying to get into my Fat Free whipped cream. Can't have that! :)

Tonight my project was custard. I tried a recipe from the mydukandiet website and it turned out pretty nice (edible - a bit eggy but tasty). I'll need to adjust it a bit - add more vanilla extract and splenda as it wasn't as sweet as it could've been, but look at the innovation going on here!

I was ramekin challenged as it turned out so I had to get creative.

So I think I'm going to watch Biggest Loser and chomp on some fake-sugared yogurt and hope that eventually being thin will out-weigh the slight risk in developing some kind of a weird tumor or ailment from the obscene amount of aspartame and Splenda I'm consuming.

Good Night....

Day One - a success.

I guess we all have to start somewhere. It's been a very long day. I had a long nap yesterday so was up until 2:00am, which of course meant that I slept through the alarm a bit and jumped out of my skin when I woke up and realized it was 7:15am. I hate getting up abruptly and springing out of bed.

I've stuck to the diet 100% today. Diet really is a 4-letter word though. I did well all day then got home and even after eating this fabulous slab of meat prepared by my husband (awesome flavor/marinade).... I still want cheese of all things!

I love having steak with sour cream so I found this interesting alternative (almost by accident) called Quark. I'm still not quite sure what it is but its the consistency of sour cream but tastes sort of like a light cream cheese. It's high in protein and low in fat so its a great option. So basically this is my steak and baked potato without the potato. ha! Sugar cravings have been curbed by the vat of yogurt I've consumed today and 2 sugar free jellos. I had a fat free mueller lite vanilla yogurt with little chocolate bits and I was so excited it was like I was eating a piece of birthday cake. I'm still wondering if I can actually have fat free yogurt that has some sugar though. I'm a bit confused as all of the information I'm finding says its ok as long as it doesn't contain fruit bits and is fat free. I need to do some more digging but for now I'll live in an "ignorance is bliss" zone. 

I also did my first weigh in. It was a bit disheartening this evening though. I went to a weight loss support group after work to discover their scale was about 6 pounds higher - not in my favor. Mind you I'm sure a few pounds can be chalked up to clothing and the ton of water I've had today but it made me sad to see the scale as high as it was! It made me really defensive (to the lady weighing me in) and emotional. I've never done weight watchers or anything where I have to report in to someone - even if its one person. I suppose in a way it could be motivating because of the pressure to succeed - I am competitive. But I also could go the other route and never go back. Right now I'm not sure to be honest. I need to see how I get through this week. 

My husband had on Food Network when I entered the living room this evening after my 2 mile treadmill walk. He was also chomping on goldfish crackers. I think the look I gave him summarized my thoughts on both issues. He turned the channel and stopped eating crunchy snacks shortly after. I know that there will always be temptations so I can't expect everyone else to be miserable. But it would be really helpful if at home I had some more understanding. 

So for tonight - I sign off and plan to get to bed earlier. I need a good solid 8 hours. 

I'm Pumped...I'm Ready!

But I should really be in bed! I had a bit of a rough night last night. Drank my way into oblivion - sort of proper way to take my last weekend of junkfood to the max. I even finished the bottle of Baileys (with help of course). Won't have to worry about that temptation sitting around. I was up early and then in turn had to have a 3 hour nap which has set me off schedule. 

I started to arrange all of the protein/allowable foods for the next week just to see what I was working with... not bad!

I have a delivery coming from Sainsburys tomorrow with more yogurts, chicken, turkey & prawns (shrimp). 


So at 11:00pm I'm up busting a move in the kitchen cooking 2 types of chicken - Tandori Masala...

and Moroccan Chicken.....

It smells like a curry house but I have 4 good portions of chicken in containers ready to go. 

I also made some turkey bacon and eggs - being creative and frying the eggs in the "grease" since I can't use any kind of butter or oil. I'm ready for tomorrow. In fact, I think tomorrow will be a breeze. I am sure days 2 & 3 will be the hard ones, when my body starts going into lack of sugar/carb shock. 

But for now, I'm ready to get moving. I'm a bit hesitant about the sweeteners (splenda) - I'm not a big fan of aspartame and I think it causes headaches (along with god knows what else). I've been unable to find Stevia so I'll have to keep searching for it. I think I'm going to have to go to a natural food store, if there is one here.

Anyway.... I'll check back in soon! 

 

The Scale

I won't specifically divulge the number on the scale this morning but I have to say I wasn't as upset as I thought I was going to be! Somehow I've managed to literally stay the same weight that I was in August 2010 (last time I recall stepping on a scale). I'm not sure how that is possible since I haven't been doing derby and I've certainly been indulging (esp. in the US this past summer where I ate my way up and down the eastern seaboard!). I'm sure I've lost some muscle and gained some fat. It could also be a bad thing as my body thinks this is the weight it should be at. Part of the Dukan strategy is about tricking your body back to where it needs to be and maintaining it. I am still waiting on my damn book. It better be here tomorrow. 


But I have my starting number.  I'm also signed up for a spinning class tomorrow. Yikes. 


In the meantime, we are watching The Biggest Loser - a new season I haven't seen yet. One frightening statistic - 2 out of 3 Americans are obese. Is that really true?? 


Oh - and my husband is flipping to Cupcake Wars during the commercials. This is what I deal with! 

More Steps Forward I guess!

Today I bought a scale. This is something I fear. I hate scales (as most people overweight do). I'd like to live in a world without them and only judge my weight loss by the way that my clothes fit. However, realistically I need to see results to keep up my spirit. I've not stepped on it. Everyone else in the family has but I'm waiting until first thing in the morning and of course when I don't have a stitch of clothing on. That's going to be a sobering moment for me - and maybe what it will take to fire me up.


I'm still planning to start this (Dukan) diet next week when I have fully read and understood the book (should be in the post tomorrow), bought all of the necessary food, and when of course our Housewarming party is over (this coming Saturday). I did the bit where you figure out your "true weight" which ironically is what I consider to be my "happy weight." 141 pounds.... this is what that looks like. If I get into this outfit again, I swear I'll wear it to work. lol. Yes, I still have it too. I have an entire dresser full of clothes that I know I will put on again - just for the hell of it. 

Back to the diet....


The first 7 days I will have to endure an "attack phase" of nothing but protein. This scares the hell out of me and the main reason I don't want to start until after the party, as I'm sure I'm going to be in a crap mood for those 7 days. I've warned the hubby that he needs to feed the kids and himself and not worry about me, as well as trying to keep the junkfood at a minimum. The last time I tried to go on a "diet," I lasted a few days, then drove past Cold Stone Creamery and the smell of the waffle cones pulled me in like a drug addict looking for a fix. I really don't want that to happen again. Luckily we don't have Cold Stone here! But there will always be a party or a candy dish at work or some other excuse to cheat. It appears that after the first 7 days, it starts getting more realistic so hopefully I can stay on track. I need this. This has to be the year where I take control of my body and my health.