Bonjour

So I realize I haven't been updating as much. Perhaps because the novelty has worn off, but mainly because I've had an incredibly busy week. The kind where I can barely string a sentence together by the time I get home. My brain is mush right now. I've had some challenges this week in the "Valentines Day Candy" department. I've definitely indulged. Ever since we had our night out last Saturday, I think my body started back to square one with craving sugar. I haven't gone nuts or anything but I'm definitely realizing my areas of weakness. Stress is one and this week has been a mess. I haven't been able to get my full workouts in and I'm just feeling a bit defeated.

On the positive side, I'm still losing, just not as fast as the first couple of weeks, which makes perfect sense considering I've been slacking off. I keep telling myself that regardless I'm still eating 10x better than I was and that has always been a big focus.

As I am about to go to Paris for a couple of days, I'm a bit worried even though I know that this has been in the works for a long time. The honest truth is that I don't want to obsess over everything that I eat and drink this weekend but I'm already starting to get worried. I keep telling myself "what could I possibly do (or undo) in 48 hours?" I've already had a head start this evening with a couple of glasses of wine and some unauthorized "nibbles" at dinner. I know there will be a lot of walking so that should help.

Next weekend, the hubby and I are going to London for our 5 year anniversary. Once again, I'm excited to go but nervous because of some meals we already have planned. I wish I had the ability to not care about food. I know plenty of people who literally think of it as fuel, but I find pleasure in food, or should say that it's a big part of the experience of travelling for me. All of this leads up to my surgery on the 28th, so I will be down for a few days after that. I guess I need to accept that I've lost a fair bit, and I'm on this journey but I will be taking a slight detour for a couple of weeks. What happens is going to be inevitable.

Wish me luck!

Naughty Naughty

It's been a bit of a rocky week but I was happy to see that I did lose another pound. There were some temptations that I succumbed to - and there were a few meals out. As I've mentioned before, you can try hard to be good but you really don't what is in your food unless you prepare it yourself. I also didn't do Zumba due to a Doctors appt. that I had and it being cancelled on Friday. I was on the treadmill every day but still didn't feel like I put as much effort in as I had the week before (which was a good week!).

On Saturday, we had a meal out with some friends and although I didn't go completely crazy, I had some drinks and some dessert. :) My body was very quick to rebel as I had terrible heartburn when we got home and a rumbling tummy the entire next day. I also think my body got a taste of sugar again and I'm detoxing again... I just got into the Russell Stovers Valentines candy my parents sent. Grrr. Didn't eat the whole thing but had a couple of pieces and now I'm feeling like I'm back at square one. 15 pounds is fabulous so I will try to move on and get focused again and keep moving forward and hope not to fall backwards (my biggest fear). I know its not realistic to not allow myself some indulgences here & there, so I'm going to try to keep that in mind and not beat myself up (which I am doing).

I'll be soaking up Paris this weekend so I'm going to try to be on best behavior until then. I'm also going to up the exercise plan.

I got onto my Wii fit for the first time in 2 1/2 years and was a bit shocked to see my weight from the summer of 2009. I had just given birth and still weighed 8-10 pounds less than I am now! That means at one point, I had put on 25 pounds after childbirth. I must be a freak of nature. Don't worry, I won't be getting pregnant in order to lose weight. Not happening. ;)

Thanks for your support... I need it this week big time.

4 Weeks & 1 Stone Later....

Here I am, still going strong and staying positive. For those of you in the US, 1 stone is 14 pounds. I find it funny that we are forced to do math to figure out our weight here in the UK, but it sounds pretty funny because I visualize a big boulder when I think of a "stone."

I've had my ups & downs in the last week or so, but have stayed on track and tried not to get too bored with my meals. I've had a few instances of putting a few morsels of off limits food in my mouth but have paid my dues on the treadmill. Tonight I was breaking a Reeses Chocolate heart for Mia. I had about 1/3rd of it left in my hand and without even thinking twice, I ate it. It was SO good. If anything, I now appreciate the taste of things and made a deal with myself. If its a very small piece of something and as long as I am still losing weight, I will allow myself an occasional bite of something I really want in order to keep my sanity. I still haven't had a single drink - glass of wine, shot of alcohol, etc. Tonight I clearly caved on the candy, but got it out of my system.

I'm still struggling to eat my veggies, even on the days I am allowed to have them (I alternate Pure Protein & Protein/Veg days). Last night I got creative and made a yummy dip with fresh salsa, low-fat cream cheese & lowfat cheese. I dipped some carrots & celery in it and it almost felt as if I had some kind of yummy taco dip, minus the tortilla chips. It was filling and I felt satisfied afterward...I'm sure it doesn't look as good as it tastes.

Tomorrow will be a huge "social eating" challenge once again, as I'm going to an Italian restaurant in town with some friends. When you diet, it's almost as if you have a food allergy or are a vegetarian...you tend to study menu's online before you go, and try to rationalize what you can have. It's going to be a tough evening - not choosing the usual chicken pasta that I love on the menu (or washing it down with a bottle of white wine!). I'm the ultimate designated driver now.

One question I would like to ask for anyone reading this. I'm randomly having incredible pain in my toes when I am working out. What could this signify? New shoes needed (mine are not that old, and have plenty of room in the toe area)? Its baffling. I've often joked that my botched "non-epidural" has caused nerve damage as I've had weird sensations in my feet ever since I had my youngest. I'm wondering if I need to see a specialist.

Ok - packing it up for the night. Thanks again for reading!

TGIF!

It's been a long week for some reason - just busy at work and generally feeling run down. I've managed to get to bed at a decent hour for the most part so it must be the dieting that is taking it out of me. Monday will mark 4 weeks on the diet. I'm curious to the weight loss but will hold on and hope to be surprised. I hit the 12 pound mark on Tuesday or Wednesday which made me feel better since I shoveled a bunch of nuts into my mouth earlier in the week. I also popped 3 grapes into my mouth that Mia had on the kitchen table. Just didn't even realize I was eating them until they were down. It's funny that I feel guilt over a small piece of fruit!

I found out that I shouldn't be eating wheat germ but wheat bran instead. I don't even know where to find this. I thought I had the right thing. Hopefully it hasn't thrown a wrench into things. I also ate out for lunch and had coronation chicken salad. It's always hard when you eat out because you may have thought you made a wise decision on the menu, but unless you prepare it yourself, you don't know what kinds of oils or other naughty things have been used. I crossed my fingers and tried to tell myself that I made a good decision, especially when I could smell the amazing fries sitting on the plate next to and across from me. They looked and smelled amazing but you know what - I didn't have to have them. I was also faced with a birthday celebration for a coworker and turned down the ice-cream cake and snacked on...yogurt and jello. How exciting!

I'm getting creative in some ways, with dishes and trying to just keep it exciting but the yogurts, Sugar Free Jello and "dukan cupcakes" are getting old! I made a mock pancake the other night with sugar free syrup and was in heaven! I guess if anything, dieting has taught me not to take food for granted. When I get to the point where I can start adding carbs in, I'm going to be really excited about the little things - like strawberries!

I'm still focused though - and pleased that I've managed to do some form of exercise each day like I'm supposed to. Whether its Zumba or the treadmill, I've kept my tail moving. I know this will all be worth it in a few months when I will be able to put on a bathing suit with confidence when we go on holiday (wherever that may be - we're still deciding). I graduated to the "bathing suit with a skirt" this past summer - a very sobering moment! Not that I need to wear a G-String but purchasing that bathing suit was a scary step. I knew that I needed it, and I wasn't going to be that Mom wearing the inappropriate bathing suit for my size. There really isn't anything more awakening than bathing suit shopping. I don't know any woman, large or small who enjoys it!

Thanks for listening and keeping me focused and motivated!

Cheater Cheater Peanut Eater

3 weeks and 11 pounds down today! What better way to celebrate than go off the rails and have something forbidden! Sigh. I had a slight run in with some mixed nuts. They are definitely not allowed. I was cleaning up after a work function we were hosting and there was this huge cup of mixed nuts staring back at me. I was tired, stressed, and could *smell* them, so I went for it. I didn't just have a few. I had a big handful of them. I'm telling myself that it could have been much worse. I had other things like candy and chips around but chose something that has nutritional value. It wasn't a tray of brownies so I'll let it slide and do an extra bit on the treadmill this evening.

We had a busy weekend. On Saturday, we went to an indoor water park. I found myself running up steps trying to keep up with Skylar lugging huge double-inner tubes. I got to thinking that it would be a really good and funny challenge on the Biggest Loser. Maybe I'll email Jillian Michaels and propose this idea. One of those team challenges. It's definitely a twisted and fun way of forced exercise. I think I'm still recovering though, and we didn't even go down any of the super-fast slides where you "lose" your bathing suit at the end.

Overall, its been a pretty good week. My clothes are fitting much better, some even loose. If I stay on this pattern of losing 2 pounds per week, I'll be happy. I'd like to see a bit more come off but its not realistic. I hear that once you get to 3 weeks it starts falling off... so I'm crossing fingers. I could also cut back on the 2% cheese. I haven't had a lot but here & there might be throwing a wrench in things. I miss my real cheese! :(

I'm getting creative in the kitchen. I'm so tired of eating boring plain meat so today I decided to just throw something together.  I wanted something Italian so I cut up some tomatoes, stewed them with some fresh basil, garlic & onion then sauteed some chicken and combined them. It was delicious! I would've liked to have had some pasta to put the concoction on but it was actually good on its own - like an Italian chicken stew.

I'm looking forward to zumba tomorrow but I may try a lunchtime class instead that involves circuits and weights. I think I need to mix things up so my body doesn't get used to it.

Thanks again for anyone reading this. It feels strange just typing into cyberspace but maybe having an audience, whether large or small will make me feel accountable. I also hope to motivate anyone who also wants to get started. It took a long time to get serious and motivated. I still have a long journey to go so I need all the support I can get.

Day in my Jammies

So today I haven't been out of my jammies - I just changed into new ones. I left work early yesterday with some stomach distress... no need to elaborate more. Today I have slowly come around a bit but was still feeling yucky. Skylar was also home with a fever, sore everything and just generally feeling like crap.

I couldn't even will myself onto the treadmill for a walk so even though I shouldn't feel guilty, I do. Diet has stayed on track at least. One day of missed exercise in 18 isn't the end of the world I guess.

I did get creative in the kitchen though! When you are on a "diet," you become obsessed with food, more so than when you are not. You basically try to create things that don't taste "too bad" in order to feel some kind of satisfaction. Trust me, the bar is lowered. Aside from well seasoned meat, which is a shoe-in, you constantly try to seek out accompaniments that are legal or at least in the ballpark and that are edible. I've had a few disasters (oat bran cookies that might have been the worst things I've ever eaten- and I've tried haggis) so it was time for things to go my way.

I had some turkey chunks and wasn't sure how to cook them, so I did some googling and found a recipe for Dukan turkey & stuffing muffins. There was an option to just cook it as a casserole so I did just that. I present to you - our lunch. Chaz even ate this and liked it!

The start - where you cook your turkey, celery & onion...

Add in all of the other stuff (oat bran, wheat germ, cornstarch, etc...), bake and you have this lovely casserole...

Let me know if you want the recipe!

Then for dinner, I was really craving tacos. I'm actually surprised that I haven't thought up this concoction prior to today... I took the standard Dukan galette (pancake) and put some Fiesta Lime Mrs. Dash in it, made them thin and small and actually had something that resembled a tortilla or pita shell!

Say hello to my little friend!

The Finished product (with 93% lean beef)!

I added a bunch of salad and some more taco fixings around this and felt fully satisfied. I foresee many of these in my future. I've not been able to find fat free cheese here so have added the Weight Watchers 2% in here and there which I've read is ok as long as you are not plateauing. It seems to be ok and I haven't flown off course. This keeps me mentally happy as well as I'm realizing you can take sweets away, but not cheese completely. If I don't have a small amount, you might find me crashing and burning and eating a block of Cracker Barrel.

On a random note, unrelated to dieting... I heard a loud "explosion" today - it shook the house and the sheep went running for their lives. I ran downstairs and threw on my wellies, ran out into the snow (visibility was bad!) and truly expected to see twisted plane wreckage in the fields near us. It scared the living crap out of me. I called the police and reported it and eventually got a call back saying it was a sonic boom. Wow. OK. Lots of news stories about it now, but I really was worried for a bit. Chaz says that he sees fighter jets fly over and I've always dismissed it with a laugh. Guess he was right!

On that note, I am ready to hit the sack. Goodnight!

2 Weeks/9 Pounds

I had my official weigh in today and was happy to find that I'm down 9 pounds in 2 weeks! This past weekend was especially challenging because I ate out - twice! This has been a situation that I've been fearing but I did ok both times. We had amazing Nando's Chicken yesterday in York. I think its a bit stressful because while you think you know what's going into your food, you never really know unless you ask and I'm sort of gun-shy on being the annoying American here demanding customer service and a full rundown/calorie count on the menu. I was upset to find out they were out of the Mediterranean salad so I went with a butterflied chicken breast (took the skin off, didn't use sauce, and its steamed) and some coleslaw. Now I'm positive coleslaw isn't on the allowed list due to the presence of mayo and what tasted like a bit of sugar to make it sweet but it was the only veggie (cabbage/carrots) that I could rationalize.  Overall it was a really nice weekend and any accidental extra calories consumed in my 2 meals out were burned.

I'm feeling very positive but still a little bored with the menu. By the time I've worked all day, exercised, come home, attempted to entertain my children before they go to bed, I'm wiped out. I need to get into the kitchen more and cook. Our dishwashers are both broken right now (yes, we have 2 - don't ask) so there are piles of dishes at all times and I feel bad making more. I hope the guy comes this week to fix them as we found out they were basically draining into the house under the floor! I knew I smelled mildew/mold when I opened the lower cabinets. I have a ninja nose. I could have been a nose-spy. Maybe I missed my calling at a perfumerie in the south of France. (Ironically - I am having nose surgery very soon so I can breath better- maybe I really can become a nose spy or invent perfumes!).

I think I'm going to try to cook up a storm on Sunday and freeze some things and just prepare for the week. I did that the first week and I seemed to do much better in terms of having food readily available at all times.

We are taking the girls to an indoor water park on Saturday. This is always a test of stamina - going up the steps to the waterslides. I remember running up them as a kid and my Dad (who has always been active and in good shape) panting looking like he was going to fall over at an minute saying "wait up!" Well that is me now but worse. The last time I took Skylar to one at Disney this past summer, I had some serious flashbacks. I'm going to look at it as forced exercise.

Goodnight everyone! I am beat from a very short nights' sleep last night. I won't even address the reason why - but it has to do with a certain team's very upsetting football game loss. :(

Because of this, I am blaming it for my near-slip with a tootsie roll today, to drown my sorrows. I had it in my mouth, chewed it for a few seconds and spit it out into the trash. Classy eh? Oh the shame! At some point I will allow myself some kind of a treat... but not yet! All or nothing.