The first step is acceptance - but where to start....

Social Eater

What does this term really mean? I've always coined myself as a "social eater" in order to justify my relationship with food. I love it...I'm not going to lie! I've allowed myself to creep up to an unhealthy weight because my metabolism has gone into some kind of a coma. I've spent most of my life eating whatever I wanted as long as I worked out on a regular basis. Well, this has not been true in my mid-30s. It's a scary time! Not only am I fighting the visible signs of aging skin wise, my body is now at war with me!

What does it mean really - to be a social eater? It means that I love to use socializing as an excuse to eat food that is flat out bad for me. I know this - its not some kind of an epiphany I woke up to this morning. But I've justified it for a long time because I've never been a "binge" eater - someone who eats in privacy, usually large amounts. I eat reasonable portions - but unreasonable foods. I wish I liked vegetables more. I wish that I could curb my cravings with fruit, but a cookie or some chips and queso are so much more appealing. I also have a husband who is an enabler. God love him- he wouldn't care if I were 300lbs. But I've hit that point - where I can do one or two things. I'm so utterly miserable with myself and my body that I don't know where to start. I think about friends and coworkers and family members who are all very heavy. They had to be at my weight at some point as well. How did they just keep going? Probably on the same course I am on. So I can roll over and just - let myself go. Or, I can choose to fight. Choose to have my old life back where I enjoyed going shopping and trying on new clothes and getting sexy new pumps.  

Speaking of pumps...my feet hurt - its pretty common sense that your body starts stuggling when you add extra weight. I can feel it! I'm slower, I get out of breath easily and wearing stiletto heels is not an option. They were not meant for bigger girls!  I've been in denial for a long time that I'm a "bigger girl." This can't be. The only time I feel sexy is when I drink a bottle of wine. I feel like Kate Moss after the right amount. Very sad isn't it? I want to get rid of the Spanx and shop again at Victoria's Secret. I haven't been there since 40 pounds ago! :)

Where do I start? How can I achieve this? How do I avoid the temptations that are all around me every day?  How do I go on a weekend trip to Paris or Prague and not look forward to food?  Crash diet? Exercise like a nut? I'm not morbidly obese, or a candidate for weight loss surgery - I'm in that middle group - overweight and frumpy. 

A friend of mine recently sent me some photos from my trip back home last summer. I was literally shocked when I looked at them. If I covered my face, I literally would not have recognized my own body. It was a sobering moment looking at them. I even took a photo of myself this summer in a bathing suit as motivation to be my before photo.